I wouldn't call myself a political activist in any way, but never in my life have I felt that I really had to stand up and do SOMETHING.    I am talking about Voting No on Prop 8.  A lot of lies have been flying around this campaign, and people have been so ill informed about the issues.  Many are voting "Yes" on 8 without even knowing WHAT they are voting for.

( Why Vote No on Prop 8 )

( No on Prop 8 Rally )

So my close high school friends (dubbed the Recess Crew--yes after that cartoon show from the late 90s early turn of the millenium) got together at my parents house for some costume fun, pumpkin carving, and movie watching (haha, kinda).

( Clickity for piccies below )

So, here's the rest of the stuff I bought last week....-_-;; Yeah, I should be studying right now...

( Why I need to win the lotto... )

so i managed to find a bunch of second hand japanese lolita clothes stores online...O_O And I proceeding to buy the following...

( Click for Lolita goodness )

mmm....lolita stuff....so much money....how do people afford it?! even with my school loans, I still can only manage a few dresses and accessories yet people have LOADs of stuff?! O_o...haha neways, i should just make stuff....

so stumbled across this label called "alice and the pirates" which are pirate-themed lolita stuff from the brand "Baby the Stars shine Bright"...of course this means they're ridiculously expensive, but it's nice to look...here's some stuff from them...I usually don't like accessories so much, but i really like the A&P accessories...

( Alice & the Pirates, Innocent World )

yaoi con was frickin amazing. i didnt realize how much so until i left though. i blame it on not really sleeping the whole week before...i was able to do it 4 years ago though...i guess I'm getting old...=(...well at least i know next time...

Next stop...PMX!!
Will be wearing...Victorian Maiden Classical Lolita and Subaru cosplay <3<3

so lately I've been really excited! My wife and I are planning to start cosplaying and doing photoshoots!! For some reason, I've been REALLY excited it. I spend most of my free time on the cosplay.com forums, looking at Deviant Art, etc. I've already ordered a sewing book and I'm planning to get a dSLR by next month! O_O

Maybe I'm over reacting because nothing has started yet. But I feel I must write this all down for continued inspiration. I know I know..I've become a true otaku... I'm in a scanlating group and translate stuff, I write fanfics, I'm thinking of cosplaying and doing photoshoots...haha, but really, I'm excited! I mean, I'm not doing it really to go to conventions and show off the costumes (haha, I actually used to hate cosplay), I'm doing it mostly b/c I would love to recreate scenes IRL and I've always loved photography but I was never "sure" of what would do with it.

But I just love how people can really take great cosplay photoshoots. Some of them look AMAZING. You can really capture the mood and essence of a character and situations with a talented photographer, good costumes, makeup and photoshopping skillz. =) So here is mini list for myself...

Things I need to buy:
dSLR (looking at Canon Rebel series right now)
My own sewing machine

Future cosplays:
C.C. (Code Geass- White suit, R2 black suit)
Talim (Soul Calibur IV)
Anthy (Utena)
Corellia (Baten Kaitos)
Ichigo-chan (Katamari)

Things I need to learn:
Photography
Sewing
Make-up (costume/stage make-up)

Haha, I really am starting from scratch right now but man I need a creative outlet!! =) But let's see what happens! I'm looking forward to it ^^

Yep, I am happy. i'm not doing much. i'm not seeking more than everyday boring life. but it's been good. =D just the little things have made me so glad to be alive. so thank you to you. thank you for being a part of my life and making life worth living.

I've been using LJ a lot lately. Why?! B/c the communities are AWESOME. lol. I'm a total lurker though, so I'm gonna try to start contributing things since for the most part since I can actually read Japanese now...yep, I think that's the only useful thing I've learned in college. Woot there goes $32,000!!

So I'm having tuition problems. I might have to stay a FULL 5th year. UGH. I'm so over school already T_T. Why in the world did I ever want to double major...

well, anyways I'll try to update this more with my translation projects and what not. I need to practice my Japanese or I'll forget it! I really want to go back...>_< Right now I'm working on:

"Kagen no Tsukiyo Monogatari" by Fujiyama Hyouta
Gankutsuou DJ by DUO BRAND
"Hitomi no Mukougawa" by Kanbe Akira

I started out with "Kagen no Tsukiyo Monogatari" first...oh man was that a bad idea. Well, not bad persay...But it's just really text heavy and b/c it's set in a fantasy world there's a lot of vocabulary I don't know that I have to look up! >_< So it's really tough. It takes me like an hour to do 5 pages...The Gankutsuou DJ is even worse lol...On the other hand, I can do 20 pages "Hitomi no Mukougawa" in an hour... But I <3 Fujiyama Hyouta and so far the "Kagen" has been REALLY funny. XD I can't wait finish it..."Hitomi no Mukougawa" has also been really cute too! I've only done 2 pages of the Gankutsuou DJ though (lol, sorry wife! I swear I'll get to it..)

今から頑張ります！

Why did I make this livejournal? It's funny, because the entries in here are so disconnected and random...I can't even remember the reason why I first created it.

For escape? I guess maybe. A temporary escape I guess you can say.

Hmm...but it's strange reading all these entries. One of them is a duplicate from my blog. Of course, these entries were made a lot during emo moments, so a lot of it is negative. It's not really a true reflection of my character, except THAT one. But then again, I see myself from POV, and isn't that POV biased?

It's strange to see how much I've changed too. Am I satisfied with how I've changed? Do I wish I should change something? "I've watched you grow this past year." That's what my roomate said to me. As much as I love to complain about my job, it's really gotten me out there and helped me open myself up to other people. If I didn't take this step, where would I be, I wonder? For sure, I wouldn't have the friends I have now and the life I love now.

Do not think of the 'what ifs'. What is done is done. Focus on the present and the future--what is to be done and should be done. This is what we have control of.

Hmm...I'm happy and excited. Thanks.

^_^

ＯＭＧJames　Ｂａｒｂｏｕｒ　ｉｓ　ｓｏ　ｅｆｆｉｎ’　ｈａｗｔ.　Ｉ　ａｍ　ｉｎ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｈｉｍ　ｓｏｏｏｏ　ｍｕｃｈ！！！　ＩＥＦＦＩＮＬＯＶＥＨＩＭ！！！　

Well, I barely update this ever. I don't even really update my xanga anymore. And I really should be studying right now. To all that I say 'meh!'

It's been a very fun summer though. Quite eventful...went to China, Vegas with fellow Sierrans, apartment move in...wife is here this weekend visiting...I cooked some arascaldo today...I burned the second batch.. *sigh* and a huge batch it was. WEll, at least I'll know what to do next time right?

And work! Marketing be funky yo. I don't like how you have to really put on a front with a product u don't really care about or know much about, you know? Like for this one project, the Director's Label Series, they keep telling us about how prestigious it is, but they never actually let us see it. How are we suppose to fully grasp something we do not understand? How are we suppose to market something to someone when we don't know what it's about?

I guess maybe it's like I learned in the management class I'm taking right now, one of a traits of a good leader is being able to make good decisions on ambigious subjects.

Hmm...I've been so busy this summer I don't think I really got to see old friends. I got to meet lover only once...a close HS friends a few times when she was having drama...I miss people. But then I'm surrounded by so many new people I love you know? I should cherish this moment that I'm in and not regret, or I won't enjoy at all. I'll do what I can do. =) I don't know where I'm going, but I want to move forward.

Doode, these posts are so emo!

lol. Anyways, I've been in a very good mood these palst couple o' months...

Yaay! a very eventful summer I have had, but quite broke and must catch up with work.

No matter how hard I try, I always seem to screw things up. No matter how good my intentions are, I will never be able to do what I think is right. I think about others so much, I work for their benefit, but that one time I screw up, they don't give a fuck about what I've done. But I guess it's because I never tell them that...

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a true human being. I don't seem to be able to talk openly with people I don't connect with. while people around me just seem so open with everyone. Is it just because I don't connect with a lot of people? Is that necessarily a bad thing?

Even with people I do know, I have difficulties telling things about myself openly. It's for a few reasons: 1) I don't want people to worry worry about me, 2) I don't want people to look at me and think "ugh here again is another SOB story", 3) I'm afraid of the consequences of saying what I truly feel.

Therefore, often times I keep all these fustratins, worries alll pent up inside of me. And then what right do I have for getting smad when people don't understand my feelings?

"SILENCE". That was the word that was posted on my dorm not to long ago. It sadly applies to me beyond all the other words. I am too silent about what I feel and think. I just don't like to argue with people, I just want to do things myself sometimes even though I don't have the resources to do it. I want to be left alone but I want to be listened too. Is that greedy?

But where does one cross the line between trying to put yourself in the spotlight and vying attention and just wanting to be heard out? I can't tell this line....even when most other talk to me sometimes. For me, it's only a few people that I have that "connection" to that enables me to be open with them and understand them. But I feel so left out of the loop with other people. And then they start calling me shy. I'm not shy really...secretive...nervous...but not shy. I think a lot in my head about consequences. Maybe that's one of my fauts--I think to much. If i just STOP thinking so much and take a chance, it should be better right? But I never think to do this. My mind is always always occupied with other things.

Whatever whatever whatever.

I am SO FUCKING MAD RIGHT NOW ITs NTO EVEN FUNYNY

I hate the fact that I can never be TRULY PURELY angry. I always come to this brink we're im effin PISSED OFF, so much so that I break down and just feel SAD--an insurmountable DESPAIR. I want to break crying and smash my hand against the wall at the same time.

I try to do what I can with the things that I have...yet...

There's always something comes in the way. This time I'm not excepting this, I am so gonna KILL THEM. FuKCIN KILL THOSE BASTARDS

Because I'd fuck me.

I love that song.

Anyways. I don't know what I'm doing right now. o-o i feel as if I should be doing somethign important. Yea I have a lot of things to do but I'd rather type type type type.

Today was a good day. ^^ Balance. nice.